Private Space

I must admit, I am a hardcore Indian and I must admit there are things in western culture that I am really impressed with and staunchly believe that it should have been a part of our treasured culture. One of the many things I admire about is the concept of the Private or Personal space.

It was not a revolutionary concept when I came here, but I am not ashamed to admit, we Indians do not take it seriously. There are gazillions times when a friend of mine has peeped into my personal mail, or a colleague standing behind my back watching me over my shoulders without me knowing about it, or my boss staring at my monitor looking me code. As I was raised in India these things were quite normal for me and haven't had any complaints about it although I m not sure if I liked it.

Things here were quite different. All praises for it. A wife has a space in which a husband does not invade or a friend knocks on the cube wall before entering the cubicle. The people here respects the space. In my opinion everyone needs to and it is outright a great quality. There were numerous time after coming over here in US, I felt the need to tell a friend to knock at least before they come in while I am working. But I think its a cultural thing and it is hard to come if one doesn't try.

There are so many counters to it. A friend of mine will outright jump at me and say, I know all of your secret and I deserved to know everything about you. I agree. I will let my friend know about it when the time is right. One can complaint that a couple has no secret among them. I agree. But it doesn't mean that you don't just poke your nose in everything she/he is doing. They will inform you or let you know when the time is right. Trust on one's partner is an important thing. A colleague can be emailing a personal mail to his wife or can be dealing with a finance stuff which is outright their personal work and no other colleague or boss needs to have a eagle eye on it.

I am no one to preach or teach but just an observation of mine, which I think will help my dozens of Indian friends to succeed here in US and in their life. Respect everyone's personal space and the people will respect you. If you like many of friends feel is mere a formality, which is irrelevant with friends, spouse or family, think again. It is not a formality. It is a gesture letting other people know that you respect them as a person. This simple gesture will gain you an equally well deserved respect.